Saving Grace
by Tvadict
Summary: "You're my Miracle... I love you." He had been trapped before. They all had. But this wasn't like before. Before he got out. Before he was rescued. She was sure he wouldn't get out alive.
1. Chapter 1

" _You're my miracle Gabby…. I love you…."_

The words rang in her ears as she held back the urge to lose her stomach and tears flowed in waterfalls down her cheeks. Gabby Dawson stepped closer to the blaze and stared as the flames erupted from every aperture of the warehouse and formed a wall blockading the entrance. Her family is in there and Her husband is trapped. Even if by some miracle he could free himself of the room, the entrance was completely enveloped. Standing 50 feet from the building the heat was a scorching desert, she could only imagine how hot it was inside, unsurvivable. The chief had ordered them all from the building, but only few made it out. Mouch was down and maybe already dead and Herman was stuck with him. Severide and Stella fought tirelessly to get to Matt but with little success. Matt was trapped for real this time and they all knew it. He'd been stuck before, they all had. But before he got out, before someone rescued him, and before he came home to her. But this time... this time he took off his mask in surrender, so his wife could hear his voice one last time. So he had the opportunity to say goodbye to the woman he could not bare to leave behind. Gabby had been there for what seemed like forever. She was his friend when his relationship with Hallie fell apart, she pulled him out of his blackness when his fiance died, she helped him when he took in the Darden kids, and she was there every single time he broke and celebrated him each time he succeeded. Gabby Dawson was always there loving him unconditionally even when he didn't deserve such a fierce and immense love.

Matt realized that he wasn't getting out of that room. And even during his impending death, his love for Gabby Dawson would keep his fears at bay. Matt took off his mask so she could really hear him. So even though they would never touch again, never kiss or make sweet love, never have the family they so desperately wanted; Gabby Dawson, his wife and his world would know and would really hear him when he told her how much he ferociously loved her. Because she truly is his miracle.

"I love you baby, I'm sorry," Matt choked barely audibly into the walkie. He laid on his back letting his head roll to the floor in surrender. He stared into the flames not really seeing them and as he uttered those last words Matt Casey smiled. Though his life certainly wasn't ending in the way he hopped, he got his miracle and that would be enough for him. His only regret was leaving her behind to get through life without him and without the family he promised her. And in his final moment of consciousness he could have been consumed by fear but he chose to think about this amazing life with Gabby Dawson and it brought him comfort until his world went to black.

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Kelly pushed with all he had to move the large machine that imprisoned Matt Casey. Stella refused to leave him, and Kelly refused to leave behind one more of his friends. He had already lost so much. First Darden, then his best friend Leslie was murdered, and only a few short weeks ago his sweet Anna was taken. The only women he had ever loved had been ripped from his life and he was not about to let Matt join them. Matt was all he had left and without him Kelly Severide was sure he hadn't much left to live for. So he beared down and he fought the monster that separated him from his friend. His lack of progress slowly chipped away at his remaining hope. He told himself he would give it one more big heave before he sent Stella from the building. If he was to go down, and without Matt he would, he sure as hell was not taking her with him. Kelly took one deep, soul searching breath and with the help of Stella pushed.

It barely moved. He slid down the wall in defeat, looked up at Stella with tears threatening sternly said "Go." Kidd squatted down next to him and matter of factly retorted "not a chance in hell."

"Go, Stella… Get out of here," he was yelling now. "Go! Go Stella. That's an order." Stella stared into his eyes and then turned away from him to leave. She disappeared behind the flames in the doorway. Kelly pushed again. And again. And again. "God, AHHHH." he screamed at the machine. He picked up his halligan and tried to find leverage to pry it from the door. "You have taken everything from me!" he yelled at fire. But it was no use. How did he get here? How did he end up living a life where everything that mattered was taken away in an instant? He felt helpless and hopeless as he again sat down next to the machine this time unable to keep the tears from spilling over. "Two minutes tops" he thought to himself. If he was going to stay here, at least his life would be over in just a short time. While Kelly drowned in self pity, waiting for his own certain death, he heard a noise coming from hall. Suddenly through the same door she had disappeared behind, Stella walked back into the room and she was not alone. Cruz was with her determined to help move the monster machine and reach Casey. The three of them heaved with every ounce of strength they had and slowly the machine inched away from the door. "Heave" Cruze yelled, and the team moved the machine away from the door just enough for Kelly to sneak behind it. Kelly kicked in the door with adrenalin filled strength and gained access to a completely encapsulated room. "Stay back" he yelled to Stella and Cruz. "Go, Go I got him." he yelled when they didn't show signs of leaving. He would never order nor allow fellow men into a room so engrossed. He ran in, as low as possible and listened. If it weren't for Casey's pass alarm Severide would never have found him among the smoke and flame filled room. "Casey!" he yelled when he felt his body at his own feet. But there was no response. His body laid there lifeless. He reached for Casey's Mask, resecuring it to his face and then his used his remaining strength to sling the man over his shoulders. He wasn't even sure how badly he was burned and he honestly didn't even know if he was even alive but there was no time for that. Kelly ran with Casey's dead weight from the room as quickly as he could. He knew they were on borrowed time before that building came down on top them.

Through the flames he ran, as he heard the building crumble. Beams and walls fell all around him as he moved in the direction he could only assume was the exit. Finally he saw it. He saw the flame ridden opening to the warehouse. He knew his only way out was through it. Even if it burned them, even if it took their life, through was the only way out and he had to at least try. He had to try for his only remaining friend. He had to try for Gabby, who may be the only other person he knew who had suffered such great losses as he had. So Kelly ran. He ran as fast as his body would let him through the wall of flames. He made it only 15ft from the flames before he collapsed from exhaustion. He was alive he knew… But he cared very little of that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Matt!" She screamed in utter disbelief. She lunged towards the lifeless bodies but her feet felt stuck. She couldn't run fast enough, life playing out in slow motion. "Matt!" she shrieked again as she fell to her knees next to him. She didn't know where to place her hands over his visibly scorched form. Then her fingers went instinctively to his neck. Their life together flashed before her eyes. The time he went as her date and refused her attempted kiss. It seemed like such a silly thing now, but it had hurt her so much then. Or the time he showed up at her door and greeted her with a hot kiss that was years overdue. He made love to her that night with passion she had never experienced. She remembered the first time he proposed and was interrupted, and the second time when he had her run to the top of the training steps and where her ring was waiting. She remembered the night he came home to her and Louie sure he wanted them to be a family. She remembered how scared she was when she told him she was pregnant, and how he wrapped her in his arms over the moon. She remembered him as her rock after they had lost their baby. For better and for worse Matt was always there and she was not ready for their life together to be over. They had so many plans and the future of those plans rested in one beat of his heart. She just needed to feel one beat…. "Come on baby" she whispered to him. She took a breath to silence her own body so she could focus. The crowd of firemen which surrounded them waited anxiously for her response. "Pulse is thready, but he's alive." She said looking up with a half smile to Sylvie who ran over with the stretcher. Herrmann and Otis quickly dragged a conscious Severide away from the Warehouse and into one of the Ambulances on scene. Sylvie helped Gabby get her husband on the backboard and the remaining men picked him up and promptly brought him over to 31. During such a hectic moment Bonden commanded the scene. "Chout! Ride with Brett" He ordered. And before she could protest he added "Gabby you're too close to this case, you can go but as his wife." She knew better than to fight him; he was right afterall. She was too close, this was her Matt, her rock, the love of her life and her reason for being. She simply nodded her head in response and jumped in the back of the ambulance with Chout, while Silvie took the wheel. The door slammed and they drove away.

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Once at Med the three paramedics quickly wheeled him into the trauma center where doctors were already waiting for him. "His airway was too swollen so we performed a crike in route." Pulse is weak. Burns to maybe 40% of his body and he's been unconscious the entire time." Gabby relayed to the ER team. Will Halstead put his hand up and stopped her from moving any further. "Gabby we got this from here. I'm sorry but I can't let you come with us." It broke all of their hearts to see her this way but even she knew it was for the best and she didn't have it in her to fight them. "Wait, let me just…" and the doctors ceased rolling into the trauma room. "I love you. I love you so much, don't you die on me, you fight and come back to me." she whispered into his ear placing a soft kiss to his dry forehead. Her tears ran hot down her cheeks and onto his own leaving a trail where the smoke had turned him black. By some miracle the burns were mostly confined to the left side of his upper body and left his face mostly untouched. She wished she could look into his eyes but was incredibly grateful for the kiss she got to give him before they took him away, very possibly for the last time. Just as quickly as they had entered the hospital, they left her standing in the ER lobby alone. Sylvie stepped behind her and softly suggested They go and sit in the waiting area. She sat in the chair next to Sylvie, whipped her tears away, took a deep breath and vowed to be strong for her husband.

Once the rest of the house arrived Gabby quickly became overwhelmed. She excused herself and spent time pacing the hallway. She felt comfort that they were all there waiting with her, but the thought of having to form words to speak to any of them felt utterly impossible. 1 hour. 2 hours passed by and after many failed attempts to try and get her to take a seat, Sylvie came out to the hallway where she paced. She said nothing, somehow knowing that was exactly what Gabby needed. She slid down the wall and took a seat on the floor. After a few minutes and the realization that Sylvie was not there to try and talk her into getting coffee, or freshening up, or taking a seat...Gabby slid down the wall next to her and sat with her head in her lap. No tears came, there weren't any more to cry.

After the 3rd hour Will Halstead came into the hallway to give Gabby an update. "Is he dead?" was all she could muster, terrified to hear the words she was expecting. "He's alive, but it's not good Gabby. The total burned area we are looking at here is approximately 30% of his body, with about 15% of that being in the 3rd degree. The burn around his neck and upper left chest has severely compromised his airway and is causing us the most concern. He's currently on a ventilator and we've had to make incisions in his chest to allow his lungs to fully expand. His body is in shock and going forward we recommend that we place Matt in a medically induced coma to give his body the rest it needs to begin the healing process. He's still in surgery but I need your permission to put him in the coma."

 _Coma._ The word rang through her brain. _He's alive. Coma. Not good. Ventilator._ The words consumed her and she was lost in her head. "Gabby. Gabby? Dawson!" Sylvie almost yelled to get her attention. "They need your permission to put him in the coma."

"Yeah. Yes...Okay." she said as she was still wrapping her head around it.

"The Coma will help us keep the swelling at a minimum. Burn victims also experience excruciating pain upon the regaining of consciousness and we feel it is in his best interest to shield him from as much of that pain as medically and safely possible. We would also like to transfer him to The University of Chicago where they have a burn and complex wound center. If he makes it through the rest of the surgery, and we can get him into a stable condition we feel they will be better able to monitor Casey's circulatory reflexes and metabolic functions.

Gabby was spaced out, and though she was hearing the words Will was saying none of them sunk in. She was a firefighter, she is a paramedic… She knows the dangers and consequences of severe burns. She just never thought she would have to make a decision to put her husband in a coma as a result of them.

"I'm gonna get back in there. We are doing everything we can for him Gabby. He's family." Gabby nodded her head and forced a fake half smile in response to Will, and with that the man turned to go back to the love of her life.

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At hour 5 Gabby was given word that Matt had made it through the surgery and was in stable but critical condition. She walked back towards 51 in the waiting room to tell them all the news and that they should all go home. "Where's Kelly?" she finally asked and Chief Boden informed her that he had been admitted to the hospital, has minor 2nd degree burns and a fractured collarbone. "I can go and give him the news if you'd like Dawson?" he said. "No. I'd like to go see him Chief." With that hugs were exchanged and Everyone left for the night promising to be back in a minutes time if anything went south.

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"God Severide you look like crap." Gabby mocked in the same way he greeted her when he and Matt had found her in buried in concrete after the Chicago Med explosion years back. "He turned and smiled and held out his hand for hers, it broke his heart to see how exhausted and beaten down she looked. He was afraid to ask about the condition of his friend, but her half hearted greeting gave him the courage to ask. "Is he…"

"He's alive." She quickly chimed in. "He has burns to 25% of his body and they placed him in a coma to help him heal and get through the worst of his pain, but he's alive." A few tears finally resurfaced and spilled from her eyes as she sat in the chair by his bed. "Thank you Kelly. He at least has a chance now and that's all because of you." Kelly forced a half smile, relieved that his friend was still alive for the time being. But his heart still broke for the torture ahead for both Dawson and Casey.

"Anyway, I have to go," she interrupted their silence. "They are going to medivac Matt to Chicago University's burn center, and I need to go home and grab a change of clothes before I head over there." She squeezed his hand and forced her exhausted body from the chair. "Gabby…" He said and trailed off, not sure of what to say. "I know." she responded and forced that same broken half smile. "Thank you Kelly."


	3. Chapter 3

**HI, Thanks so much for all your support and kind words. I wrote chapter 4 a few days ago, but I struggled writing** **chapter 3. I hope you like it, but please come back tomorrow for chapter 4! I'm really excited about that one. I have several ideas about how this will also play out! ENJOY!**

Gabby exited Severide's room, and headed back to the ICU to get the latest update on her husband as well as the details of his transfer to Chicago University. She stopped off at the bathroom to finally freshen up like everyone had been trying to get her to do. Whatever that meant, she splashed a handful of cold water on her face and toweled it off catching a glance of herself in the mirror. She was almost unrecognizable, hideous if you asked her. Dark circles framed her swollen eyes. She was pale, and looked both exhausted and without hope. The whole day had been filled with waiting. Waiting for news, and updates that went in one ear and out the other. She felt like every time someone spoke to her about him, the words were superficial or medical jargon she did not understand. She just longed to see him, and it did not matter how many updates she got stating he was "in stable but critical condition", she would not hear a word until he was either dead, or could see him with her own eyes.

After what seemed like 20 minutes of staring into the mirror, Gabby headed back to the ICU. What Gabby hadn't expected to see was Sylvie Brett, in the waiting room seemingly sleeping in the chair. She was startled by Gabby's presence in front of her. "Oh. Hey," she said straightening herself and offering a compassionate smile. " You can go home Sylvie, I appreciate it, but they are about to Medivac Matt to Chicago University and I'm okay." Gabby said. Sylvie knew what she was about to respond with would elicit push back from Gabby but frankly she didn't care. "I can take you to the Hospital if you want." she nudged hoping Gabby would take the hint. Unsurprisingly so Gabby was less than fond of the Idea. She didn't feel like talking to anyone and she certainly did not feel like arguing with Sylvie Brett about it. "Sylvie, I appreciate it but…" she was cut off. "Gabby I know. I know you might want to be alone, but the truth of the matter is we are partners and friends. And your husband had a terrible accident today and as much as you try to pretend that you are okay, I would be a terrible friend to let you get behind the wheel of a car in this state. I would be an even worse friend if I let you go through this alone. So please don't argue with me because I'm not asking you." she stated strongly. Softer she added "we don't even have to talk on the way there…I promise" Sylvie trailed off. She may not always be the most outgoing person, but when she needs to be she can be a real hard ass. "Okay," Gabby reluctantly replied, annoyed that she clearly was not going to win that argument. "I need to stop home first, I have a few things I need to take care of," Gabby said in a way that raised a suspicious flag in Brett's head. Something about the way she said "take care of a few things" made her sound like she was hiding something. She decided against questioning her further and instead agreed to take her home on their way to the next hospital.

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Chicago University Hospital's Burn Center was a scary place. As Gabby walked past the glass paned rooms, she saw people wrapped like mummies. She saw ventilators, people who she presumed were in Comas like Matt, and she heard the screams and cries of patients in excruciating pain. She hadn't seen her Husband since she kissed him goodbye as he was rolled into the ER. She was desperate to see him or get more news she would only half understand, but as she walked down the hall to the nurses station her nerves only intensified. Was this really her future with Matt? Mummified bodies? Skin grafts, and excruciating pain? How long would it be before he was to wake up? Will he even wake up? Suddenly the questions she had kept from her brain creeped their way in. It was in that moment she was thankful that Sylvie had refused to leave her side. Gabby stopped her walk down the hallway and was overcomb with sudden nausea, her nerves getting the best of her. Brett reached down and instinctively grabbed Gabbys hand but said nothing. The pair exchanged no words but the gesture was definitely a comfort for Gabby. She took a deep breath to help fight back her urge to vomit up her fears, looked at Brett with grateful eyes and they proceeded down the hall.

When they finally reached the nurses stand they were told Matt had arrived safely, but that the doctors were evaluating him. She was asked to sit in the waiting room until Matt's new doctor had an update. She sat in the waiting room with her head again in her lap. She was exhausted but sleep was the furthest from her mind. After another hour of waiting, Gabby stood up. She walked quickly over to the nurses station and demanded information. "Hi, I'm sorry but I have been here for 2 hours waiting for an update and I need to know what's going on." She started. "I'm sorry miss but until the doctor comes, I'm afraid I don't have any information for you," the nurse responded in a polite attempt to diffuse the situation. Gabby turned to walk away, but her patients flead hours ago. "No. She turned back around to face the nurse. " My husband was severely burned during hour 11 of our 24 hour shift while trying to save people. He's a firefighter. We rushed him to Chicago Med where I personally placed a crike in my husbands neck. We spent 22 hours at Chicago Med, where he fought for his life, and I have been here now for 2 hours waiting to find out if he is even still alive...I need to talk to someone..Now!" she all but screamed, tears threatening to spill over. The nurse was clearly overwhelmed by the way Gabby verbally attacked her, but she held her composure, nodded, and walked away. Gabby instantly regretted speaking to her that way, but she had been awake and without real information for close to 48 hours, and he patients and sanity were long gone.

Not 2 minutes later did the nurse return with the doctor. A short, middle aged man with an expressionless face. Hie unreadable demeanor scared Gabby but she and Sylvie walked to meet him. "Mrs Casey?" He questioned her. "It's Dawson, but I'm Matt Casey's wife." she corrected shaking the man's hand. "Doctor Lawler," he said as her returned the handshake. "I have been in contact with Will Halstead over at Med since late yesterday afternoon and I also performed an extensive exam of you husband since he's been with us. Your husband is stable, but he's not out of the woods and won't be for quite some time. He was given thiopental, while at Med and we are going to continue that drug protocol here to keep your husband sedated. I'm sure you know some of this already but going forward we need to be concerned about infection which could lead to sepsis, as well as metabolic acidosis, and respiratory alkalosis. Basically it means that burn victims experience a decrease in cellular energy which alters the balance of ions like sodium, calcium,and potassium which are needed for everyday bodily functions. Other things we need to be cautious of are a decrease in cardiac output which could lead to stroke... Mrs Dawson? Mrs Dawson?" the doctor began calling her name when he noticed she was completely spaced out. As much as Gabby wanted the update, the words he was saying weren't giving her any amount of information. Instead they all just blended together into one long strand of medical jargon. "Mrs Dawson, I know this is a lot to take in, but your husband is incredibly lucky that his burns were not more extensive. His turnout gear really did it's job here, It's the only reason he's still alive." Once again Sylvie reached for Gabby's hand, likely recognizing her sudden change in demeanor. Mrs. Dawson, this will be a tough road, but I promise we will do everything in our power to see him through this." The doctor smiled offering Gabby a sliver of hope that Matt may actually make it through this. "Can I see him?" She finally begged when she regained her composure. "Yes, Ma'am." That word the best news Gabby had heard all day.

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After much convincing Gabby finally convinced Sylvie she was okay to leave. And without a car, there was no risk of her driving while so sleep deprived and emotional. Finally she was on her way to see the love of her life after almost 2 days of wondering where and how he was. This time while walking down the hallway Gabby was able to zone out all of the moans and mummies. This time at the end of the hallway was her man. She finally reached room 311, she took another one of those deep breaths, reassuring her that she had the courage to face what ever was behind those matter how bad it was, it was Matt and he needed her just as much as she needed him.

Finally Gabby slid the door open, and walked over to her husband's bed. Relieved to see his sweet face, this time without fire smut all over it. She took him in. He was shirtless and had some kind of mesh wrapped around him from under his left arm, across his left chest and around his neck. He was on a ventilator, but he looked peaceful, like he was sleeping. She leaned in on his right side and placed a soft kiss on the top of his head where she had hours before. She ran her hand through his messy hair and then down the stubble on his cheek. Finally after 2 days the real tears finally came in full force. All the tears she held back from Sylvie, and Severide, and her brothers at 51 came in floods. This ride was just beginning, but for now her Matt was alive and she could hold his hand and kiss his head and that would be enough for her to finally fall fast asleep in chair by the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabby spent every night for the next week sleeping in that chair, leaving the hospital for only short chunks of time in order to run home for a shower and a change of clothes. Matt's sister Christie had spent several days waiting with Gabby after work, and there was usually someone from 51 lingering in the hall when ever they were not on shift. Her family at 51 kept her fed, ran her errands, and made a tough situation as easy a possible, they were always great that way when a member of the family was in need. Cindy had even been by as soon as she could leave the kids with Christopher, along with Gabby's mother and father who had been in and out, just not together. Gabby faked a smile as best she could each time a loved one would stop by but she was emotionally exhausted from trying to keep a brave face, still she would do it for Matt. She wished so desperately to hear his voice and tell him everything was okay. She would also love for him to wake up and tell her everything would be okay as well, but for now she would have to believe it enough for the best of them.

On day 8 of Matt's stay at CUH, the doctors needed to do another set of skin grafts. Dr. Lawler described the procedure to Gabby as removing the dead tissue and covering it with healthy skin taken from the back of Matts thighs. Dr Lawler said Matt wad was lucky his burns did not cover more of his body, allowing the grafts to be made from his own skin. That meant less of a chance for rejection. The skin would help the body retain fluid, and keep out infection. Frankly the whole concept nauseated Gabby, but she trusted Dr. Lawler and his team.

While waiting for Matt to be wheeled off to surgery an unexpected visitor walked in his room. "Gabby," she said placing her hand the back of her shoulder. "Nancy?...Nancy. It's good to see you," She lied. She had not seen her mother in law since her parole hearing years back, and hadn't called her when Matt was initially injured. She had no intention of apologizing for it either. It wasn't that she had anything against Nancy… well, actually she did. As much as Matt loved his mother, she also killed his father and left him alone is the world, so that mean she could hate her for him right?

"Oh Matt" she said as she walked over to her son. Christie must have called. Gabby thought, _it_ _took her a week to get here..._ "He's getting more skin grafts today. They are about to take him into surgery. Christie should be here soon." The expression changed when Nancy realized her daughter would soon be there. They two had not really spoken since before she was in prison and to be frank Gabby was less than thrilled to likely spend the day between the two hostile women, especially without Matt there to defuse them. .

When the time came for Matt's surgery Gabby once again when through the now routine kiss to the forehead, a few tears, a whispered "I love you, in his ear, and the roll away from her. She'd rather appreciate breaking this routine but as long as he kept coming back, she supposed she would make it through, for him. She would also brave the day sitting between his mother and sister, and had full intentions of bring that sacrifice up in play as soon as he was conscious again. The thought of their playful interactions almost made her smile, but it was not memories she wanted of Matt, she wanted the rest of her life.

Gabby made her way with Nancy to the drab waiting room, where they would spend most of their day; only leaving for rounds of coffee and tea when the silence was simply too awkward to handle. After the 2nd hour, Gabby was growing particularly anxious and that overwhelming nausea returned to her stomach. When her deep breaths offered her no relief she stood up from her chair and quickly moved to the bathroom. She flew into the closest stall where she proceeded to lose the contents of her stomach, which were mostly tea, and half a bagel she forced down earlier. Gabby took a stabilizing deep breath in efforts to regain her composure and when she opened the door she found Nancy leaning against the sink with a strange look on her face. She acknowledged her but was at a loss for words of what to say, she had just thrown up, a moment she would have preferred to have had alone.

Gabby half smiled, the only smile she was recently able to offer, and proceeded to rinse her mouth out with the cool sink water. Nancy still said nothing and Gabby splashed water on her face. After she dried her face off in a paper towel she turned back to Nancy who gave Gabby an indecipherable grin. Seemed like an odd gesture at time where her son was seriously injured and fighting for his life, it made her uncomfortable actually. _What did she want?_ Gabby wondered. When she finally spoke Gabby was taken back. "How far along are you Honey?" she asked. "What?" Gabby questioned, confused as to whether she heard the words right. "How many weeks are you?" Nancy clarified. "I...um.." Gabby tired to form the words but they didn't come, she just stared at Nancy completely dumbfounded and shocked. "I have been pregnant twice before, you know… I know the signs" Nancy said the inquisitive smile returning to her face. Gabby stared blankly back at the woman. "You keep subconsciously moving your hand to you stomach. I can tell you don't even know you're doing it, it's really cute actually. And you just ran to the bathroom and threw up. You have no appetite, only ate a piece of your bagel and you had decaf tea instead of coffee even though you have hardly slept.…" She trailed off. "My husband is in a coma, Nancy," she responded. "He's getting skin grafts… today, I don't…" Gabby tried to fire back, somewhat annoyed at the accusation, but Nancy just stared questioningly. Gabby's blank stare softened and she looked at the floor and in surrender and finally offered; "8 weeks, give or take... I just found out the day of the accident." When no smile came upon the admission of her pregnancy Nancy wrapped her Daughter in law in big hug.

The hug felt weird at first, but the tears she had fought for a week to hold back poured from her eyes in uncontrollable sobs. "He… He doesn't even know," she choked out. "What, what if...What if i never get the chance to tell him he's going to be a father?" she sobbed. Nancy's heart broke for Gabby, who was struggling to stay afloat in a time she should be celebrating. Gabby's heart broke for their unborn child, who she had intentionally cast from her mind until now. She had confirmed her suspicions the night of the accident when she made Sylvie stop at her home. She went home to get a change of clothes, but also to take the pregnancy test she had waiting for her. She had intended to tell Matt that day of her suspicions and take the test with him later that night, but after the events of the day she couldn't bare not knowing. She waited the three long minutes for her cell phone timer to go off. She walked to the sink, flipped the test over and stared at the two lines on the stick indicating she was once again pregnant and once again receiving this knowledge alone. "Two minutes" she had thought to herself. Two minutes to feel sad or happy, scared or however, but only 2 minutes was she to spend thinking about it because she couldn't handle it. Not that day. That day was to be spent thinking about Matt. But for two minutes the sadness had come about their last child. Flashes of fear had plagued her mind about the possibility of losing another. Love rushed in for the piece of Matt that was now apart of her. And then the fear had came back. But before she could recognize the thought she had pushed it from her mind, unable to handle any more than that day had already given her. It wasn't until right now when confronted with the situation again did she let herself feel that last thought. "What if he never regains consciousness and I can never tell him? What of he never gets to meet his child, or hold her, or watch him grow up? What if I have to raise this baby without him?" She fell to pieces in Nancy's arms, unable to hold back the fear and the sadness. After all those days she finally let herself feel it. _What if Matt never woke up?_


	5. Chapter 5

**So my laptop's hard drive finally went, hence the delay in updating. I'm gonna try and get the next chapter out later today to make it up to you all. Enjoy! Thanks again for all your support. I have a few more chapters coming your way soon.**

After 3 and a half weeks of being harassed by Antonio and pretty much everyone else who cared for her, Gabby agreed to stop spending every night asleep in the convertible bed chair next to Matt. She was afraid to leave his side, but she hadn't had a good night's sleep since before the accident and though no one other Nancy knew of her pregnancy, Gabby knew that her severe lack of sleep and atrocious stress was detrimental and dangerous for both her and her baby. So she agreed to go home for the night.

When she walked through the apartment door around 9pm it was quite, and not the relaxing kind. It was the silence that forced your scary thoughts into your head; The quiet that over emphasized how alone she was. She walked into her bedroom, their bedroom. The bed was still unmade from the day of the warehouse fire, unslept in since then. Gabby walked into the bathroom and undressed. She stood in the mirror and took herself in. Her face looked thin, but exhausted. She had hardly been keeping any food down thanks to her pregnancy. She ran her hand over stomach. She was shocked to find that there was a certain roundness to it. A seemingly unnoticeable bump to anyone else but standing in the mirror she recognized the change to her body. It was a change that she did not get to experience with her last pregnancy, and it brought her mixed feelings now. She wished Matt was there to see it, he would be over the moon. He surely would run his hands over her stomach, and place sweet kisses there. She shuttered from the thought and came back to reality with a pang in her chest that brought tears to her eyes. She ran a hot shower, stepped in and sank to the floor letting the warm water numb her. She sat there until the water ran cold.

After toweling off Gabby slipped on pajamas then padded over to Matt's dresser. She took out his grey Casey Contracting sweatshirt, slipped it on, and breathed in his enticing scent. Tears threatened again at the reminder of his absence in their home, but Gabby was getting good at fighting them off. She slipped into her side of the bed, ready for sleep to take her. Even she knew she desperately needed the rest.

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The knock on the door startled him awake. He looked over at the clock and it was just after 3 am. The knock came again, more urgent this time. Antonio walked through the dark house, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He opened the door and expected one of his CI's or someone from the police department but was shocked when he found his little sister standing there. "You said go home... I went home and I can't. It's too quiet, and he's not there. Antonio he's not there. And I can't sleep in our bed knowing he's not there Antonio." She was barely speaking in coherent sentences. She wasn't crying, but almost pleading. He didn't know what to say to her. He could not possibly take her unimaginable pain away. Instead he did the only thing he knew and took her in his arms and held in a long embrace. "You'll stay with me. You can stay with me until Matt comes home." Gabby just nodded into Antonio's shoulder, thankful he offered before she had to ask.

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Gabby had put off seeing the doctor for far too long, and she knew it. But anytime she had to acknowledge the fact that a life grew inside her, she also had to acknowledge that fact that she might end up raising the child alone. But it was time. It was overdue actually. So she sat in the waiting room lost in the thoughts she tried to keep out. Lost in her nervousness about the pregnancy. She just felt lost.

"Mrs. Dawson?" her name was called. She looked up and met the eyes of middle aged woman in dark pink scrubs. She had a smile that was borderline annoying, because Gabby did not feel happy. She felt numb most of the time. She followed the woman into a room where they drew her blood and asked her a slew of questions about morning sickness and the like. They prescribed her prenatal vitamins and asked her to wait for the ultrasound technician to come in.

Gabby impatiently waited. This entire experience had been stressful and exhausting and she was ready to leave. The tech finally knocked on the door, and asked Gabby to unbutton her pants. The gel was cool on her stomach, just like everyone always said it was. She felt the wand on her belly but she tried not to pay attention to what was happening, afraid that it would cause her to break down and that was not an option, so she stared at the ceiling. Then she heard it. That fluttering heartbeat was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. She turned her head to the screen and saw it. She could see her baby's head and it's little nose. It had hands and feet. It was a real baby. And then she felt it. It came to her in an overwhelming rush warmth that filled her entire body. Gabby felt happy and for a few moments forgot her pain. There was a child inside her. And it was real, and it was everything she wanted. She had tears in her eyes, but they were happy tears and she welcomed them.

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After the appointment Gabby went to the hospital. She was noticeably perkier than usual as she walked down the hall to Matt's room. She even greeted all of the nurses on her way there, a pleasant and welcomed change. When she walked in the room she kissed Matt on the forehead and took her place in her chair. She sat with one hand on her stomach, and the other holding Matt's. "I went to the doctor today. I got to see our baby Matt. I got to hear the heartbeat. It was amazing. I think, I mean I am really happy about this. I wasn't letting myself feel it, because you know you're… but I'm happy and I know you would be happy too. So I'm going to be happy for both of us until you can be happy with me." Gabby spoke to him for hours but around dinner time she made the decision to leave. She needed to make some changed for her family and it started with a conversation with Chief Boden.

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She walked in the room and there was a brief pause. She felt all the eyes on her until Herman finally yelled "Gabby Dawson!" and gave her a big hug. It wasn't that they were not happy to see her they just didn't know how they were supposed to act towards her, or more importantly how she would act towards them.. She seemed shockingly normal and out of what ever fog she had been in for the last 3 weeks. "Hey guys" she laughed as Herman released her from the hug. Next was Sylvie who took Gabby into her arms. "Hi! I miss you so much. They have me riding with Chout she laughed." releasing Gabby from the hug. "I'll be back soon Brett, that's actually why I'm here. Is Boden in his office? She questioned. "Um, yeah I think so" Sylvie answered.

He heard a knock on the door and was shocked to see Gabriella Dawson standing on the other side of the glass. He smiled and waved her into the office. "Dawson! It is great to see you. How's Matt?" he inquired. "Little improvements every day sir. A lot could still happen but I'm hopeful," she smiled. "Well that's great, I'm glad to hear it. So what brings you in?"

"Actually Chief I was hoping to come back to work. Not today obviously but I need to work. I can handle being away from Matt every few days. I actually think it would be good for me." As convincing as her words were, Chief Boden was skeptical. He had seen her over the last few weeks and she was in no state to be working, especially in a position where she would be responsible for the lives of others. She could tell he had worries. "Please Chief. I'm okay now. And I need to be working. I need the money honestly. With Matt and I both not working…"

"Gabby…" he cut her off. "I'm just not sure that now is a good time. I just don't want to… "I'm pregnant." this time Gabby was cutting him off. There was a silence in the room. Somehow twice now, Chief Boden, was one of the first people to learn of Gabby's pregnancy. "Gabby, that's...Congratulations."

"Thank you Chief. I would really appreciate it if you kept to yourself though. Matt doesn't even know and I'd really like to tell him before…"

"Absolutely." he promised. Last time he spilled the news and he was sure it made it much harder for Gabby and Matt when they lost the child. This time he would promise to carry out her wishes. "Chief I need to be working, for my family. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could handle it. I've stopped sleeping at the hospital, I've been to the doctor. I'm as okay as I can be Chief and I think that time doing something other than drowning in my own self pity would be really helpful. I could really use to be around my family."

"Okay. But Gabby, If you need anything, please…"

"Thank you Chief."

Gabby walked out of the office, said goodbye to her 51 family and promised to see them all in 3 days time. Though it took a lot of convincing for Chief Boden to okay Gabby coming back to work, they both knew it was right. She was going absolutely crazy sitting in that hospital room every day. She had been left alone with her thoughts for too long and was entering a depression that scared her. She new she was not alone, She had all the support in the world.


	6. Chapter 6

"So I'm going back to work today. I'm a little nervous actually. I know, I know I'm gonna be fine. We are gonna be fine. I'll take care of the little one, don't worry." She Paused. "You're gonna be fine too you here me? No funny business while I'm gone. And I'll be back this time tomorrow morning. I promise." She kissed his head. His burns looked good, well better. They weren't as oozy anyway. He had had 4 skin grafts and the doctor expected he would need a few more before they gave him his final one. Each time they did the procedure she was happy he was in a coma, that he didn't have to experience that pain. But she really missed him. And she knew today would certainly be a difficult day; her first full 24 hours without him. _Maybe the constant talking his ear off will help him rest better,_ she thought to herself. She even chuckled under her breath. Gabby figured that at least pretending to be positive and making light of an unimaginable situation was better than the depressive state she had put herself in. Either way she was at least managing it right?

She was at least partly looking forward to getting back to work. She drove her car up and parked in Matt's spot under the tree. If it were a different day, a typical day she knew he would make some sly comment, probably while placing silly kisses to her lips. She took a moment to gather herself and forced herself from the car. She walked into the station and saw all the men from 2nd shift packing up their things and preparing to go home. She waved and walked into the main room and got straight to work.

"What smells so good?" Cruz said as he rounded the corner. Gabby was just finishing up the last of the sausage as 3rd shift started walking into the main room. "Gabby Dawson, I freaking love you." Severide said as he moved to quickly kiss Gabby's check and grab some of the delicious breakfast she had prepared. "Hey, it's great to have you back Dawson," he called to her from the table. She was thrilled that they were all acting so normal. Excited even, to have her back. She was prepared to spend the day dodging the eyes of colleges that weren't sure if she should be back. Gabby wasn't even entirely sure she sould be back, but here she was. So she decided to surprise them all with a Gabby Dawson breakfast and they returned the surprise by treating her like nothing was different.

Just as Gabby had finished dishing out the last of the food, the alarm called ambulance 61 to a 5th floor apartment on W. Hasting Street. Gabby was thankful because the thought of food still made her nauseous and she no intentions of telling anyone else at the firehouse of her pregnancy, best to not make anyone suspicious. Brett and Dawson jumped into the Ambo and sped to the scene. The report was of a mother who tripped down her steps holding a 9 week old infant. _Of course it was a baby_ Gabby thought as she took the elevator to the 5th floor. The cases with babies always got to her, but her pregnancy added a whole new level of hormones and empathy into the equation.

Gabby found the mother at the bottom of the stairs. The wall surround the bottom landing had a hole in it, likely from the impact of the fall. The baby was wailing, a good sign Gabby recognized. As they got closer Gabby saw the tears streaming down the mother's face. "Ma'am, my name is Gabby. Can you tell me where you're hurt?" Gabby asked. It was like no time had passed and she jumped right into work mode. Even she was a little surprised at how natural it felt.

"I tripped on my dress and i fell head first. I held her the whole time. I don't think she hit the ground. I tried so hard to keep her off the ground." The mother struggled to get the words out she was so worked up.

"That great, so you don't think our baby is hurt?" Gabby inquired.

"I'm not sure, I... I tried to save her."

"Great, you did great, honey. This is my friend Sylvie. She is gonna take your baby and make sure she is okay and I'm gonna take care of you." Gabby reassured the young mother. "I want to go with her please, I'm all she has." the mother pleaded. "Of course honey. We won't take her anywhere without you, I promise." Brett took the baby and put her in a precautionary infant C-collar while Gabby tried to assess the mother's condition. "Okay, honey can you tell me where it hurts? I'm going to put this around your neck just as a precaution until the doctors can rule out a neck injury. It looks like your shoulder is dislocated. Do you think you can stand up and sit in this chair?"

"Yes", the woman nodded, trying to get her emotions back in check. Gabby helped her get in the chair and then bent down next to the woman to speak at eye level.. She grabbed the hand of her uninjured arm and reassured the women. "You saved your daughter's life. You did amazing honey."

"Julie." responded the woman. "My name is Julie."

"Let's get you to the hospital and get you checked out Julie." Gabby smiled.

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By bedtime Gabby was absolutely exhausted. The day had been busy, which she was thankful for. Less time to get lost in her own head. But the night had winded down and all of 51 were in their respective bunks. Cruz was snoring, Herman too. But Gabby just couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep. She had been on enough calls during the day to hardly notice Matt's absence, but she noticed it now. During a typical shift if she had trouble sleeping, Gabby would usually creep down the row of beds and sneak into Matt's office. She's crawl under his heavy arm and curl up next to him, always playing the part of the little spoon. She wished more than anything to do the same now, so instead she snuck out of her own bed, crept down the row of bunks, and into Matts office. She took the Jacket from his desk chair, slipped it on, and curled up into the bed. It wasn't exactly how she wanted it, but it would have to do. The bed smelled of Matt and she was beyond thankful for that comfort. "This is where your daddy works." she whispered and ran her hand across her stomach. "I can't wait for you to meet him…" she said as she finally drifted off to sleep.

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 _UUUUH! EEEEEEH! ERRRRRT!_ The alarm had them all jumping out of bed. "Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3: Warehouse fire North 17th Street." Was she hearing it right? Were they all hearing it right? Warehouse fires never went well. They put Matt in a coma. They killed Mouch. _No time for such thoughts,_ Thought Gabby. _Run._ So she ran. She threw her shoes on and creeped out of the office. Sylvie made eye contact with her. _Busted._ She thought. But it did not matter. _Run._ And they did. Both women ran towards the ambulance knowing that every second mattered. Every second could be life or death. Safety or coma. It could destroy a family. So they ran. All of 51 ran towards their respective vehicles to do the job they promised to do. Most of them didn't think twice about it. But Dawson did. "You okay?" Sylvie asked. "Yeah. I'm Okay. I'm Okay." she said it twice. Once to convince Brett and the other to convince herself.

The scene was exactly what she expected. Flames billowed from the building. Gabby watched as the scene played out in slow motion. She watched Truck enter through the front doors following Herman's lead. They were followed by Cap and Cruz. Otis raised the ladder to the 7th floor west window. A man hung from it screaming for help. She watched as Severide began climbing the extended ladder. There was a pop and the flames expanded. Suddenly Gabby was back to the fire from 4 weeks ago. She watched Matt's back disappear into the building. She saw the first explosion. Then the second. She heard him come through on the radio. "Is Gabby there…?" "Gabby. Gabby. Dawson!?" but the voice was that of Brett and not Matts. "Dawson, are you okay? We have a 37 year old male, smoke inhalation and minor burns to the lower extremities." Suddenly she was back. And her panic faded. She could do this. "Get me a intubation tray." Gabby ordered. She placed the tube and checked for breathing sounds. "I'm in" she assured Brett. "I'll drive" she said. As she hopped out of the back of the Ambo she saw Truck walk from the building. Herman, Otis, Kidd. Followed by Capp and Cruz. Severide came down the ladder with the second trapped victim. They were okay she noted. They were all okay and she was okay. She walked briskly around the side of the truck and climbed in the driver side. They made it to the hospital and transferred the patient. Both women felt certain the man would make it. "Nice work Dawson," Brett said and she lightly shoved Gabbys shoulder. "I couldn't have done it without you."

It was 5am when they pulled the Ambo back into the bay. Usually they would be getting up and about to go home, but the lights were out in the bunk room so both Gabby and Brett took that as a sign that they should join they men for another short rest. This time Gabby felt confident that she could sleep in her own bunk. She would also prefer that no one else know she had slept in Matt's bed earlier in the evening. So she pulled up her blankets, tucked her hand secretly on her barely there belly and fell asleep.

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Just a short while later Gabby was startled awake. "Dawson. Dawson!" he shook her. She opened her eyes and saw Chief Boden standing over her. "What? What's going on. Is Matt okay?" she panicked. "The hospital is on the phone." Her heart sank. She jumped from her bed and nearly sprinted down the hall to the phone in Chief Boden's office. _I shouldn't have left. I was only gone for 24 hours. Is he dead? God please let him be alive_. she prayed. Her hands trembled as she reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Dawson."

"Y-ya-yes." Her voice trembled.

" It's Dr. Lawler-"

"Is he dead?" she cut him off.

"No, Mrs Dawson. Quite the contrary. He's breathing on his own. We were able to take him off the ventilator." She did it again. She knew the Doctor was speaking but she could not hear him. "Mrs. Dawson? Gabby?" she came back. "Your husband started to fight the vent, and he is breathing on his own. This is massive progress. It's looking more and more likely that he will make it." She started crying, happy tears. "Thank you. Thank you Dr. Lawler. I'll be to the hospital shortly." Gabby hung up the phone and ran from the office toward the main room. She literally ran into Chief Boden on the way there. "He's breathing! She cried. She continued running until she reached all the guys. "He's breathing!"

"What" asked Herman, sleep still in his voice. "Matt. He's breathing." Herman looked confused. "He's breathing on his own!" she rushed past Herman and into the locker room. She ran into Kidd, who was coming from the shower. "Stella, I need to go. I need you to cover the last hour of my shift. It's Matt. He's Breathing!" She didn't wait for a response. She just ran from the locker room with her Bag.

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Gabby arrived at CUH just after 6:30 in the morning. Visiting hours didn't usually start until 8am, but she had made friends with all the Burn unit employees so she knew they would let her in. "George!" She greeted the security guard. "You're certainly in good spirits today Mrs. Dawson," He noticed. "I know it's early George, but Matt is breathing on his own for the first time in almost 4 weeks. I have to go see it for myself."

"Mrs. Dawson, you know I can't let you through until 8am. But you can be the 1st through the doors I promise." She didn't argue. She just gave George her best puppy dog face with her big brown eyes. She batted her eyelashes at him. "Fine, but if you get caught don't throw me under the bus."

"Thank you!" she squeaked, kissing him on the cheek as she ran towards the elevators. She walked into Matt's room and saw it for herself. There was no invasive tube protruding from his mouth. There was no rhythmic rush of air entering and exiting his body. He looked worlds better with the removal of the tube. With the exception of the bandages on his upper body and neck he looked like Matt again. A few tears escaped her eyes once more. _Hormones._ She laughed to herself. She reached over him and for the first time in almost 4 week she did not greet him with a kiss to the temple. She placed her lips softly on his, and let them linger. "Good morning Baby," she whispered, taking her seat next to the bed. "We missed you."


	7. Chapter 7

"You know it says that the baby has functioning lungs and kidneys now. And at almost 15 weeks it will be able to recognize voices soon... So I'm gonna need your cute butt to speed this healing process along so you can talk to your kid soon." She was kidding. Mostly. Gabby read the new baby development book she swore she wasn't going to picked up at the bookstore. She didn't think she would be interested in reading it really, but she spent a lot of time sitting in that chair and once she dove into the pages, could barely put the thing down. It was a new way to pass the time anyway, and it couldn't hurt to get prepared. "I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. Did you know they apparently have some blood test that is supposed to be super accurate and can apparently predict the sex of the baby? I'm not going to do it…. I'll be nice and wait till you wake up." She joked in the way they usually would when he was conscious but the truth was she could not imagine getting such news without him. She couldn't fathom doing any of this without him really, but she did not have a choice. "I think it's a boy though in case you were wondering." This talking to herself, well Matt, thing was starting to feel less weird to her. It sure beat the agenizing silence the room could have and it brought her some sense of peace knowing that maybe, just maybe, he could hear her. She entertained the idea often. Would he wake up and remember all the things she told him, all the things she said when she forgot he could be listening? It didn't matter to her, she just wanted him alive. Though she couldn't imagine being trapped all that time. Able to hear but not able to speak or move? Gabby half wished that he wouldn't remember anything at all.

After some more reading and one sided conversations she noticed the clock and saw that it was almost dinner time and decided that she could handle sleeping in her own bed for a change. She texted Antonio to let him know she wouldn't be home. She knew her big brother and if she didn't come home and wasn't on shift he would undoubtedly send a search party of cops to bang down her door. She left the hospital around 5:30 and headed to their apartment. She had been home for clothes and to shower, but past that the apartment was the same as it had been that day almost 7 weeks prior. His shoes were still next to the door and the basket of his laundry he had been doing before shift was still sitting folded on the kitchen table. A sudden need to clean overcame her and it started with the refrigerator. She threw out all the uneaten meals her friends had made her and to her surprise nothing was too rancid. Brett had gone through it a few days after the accident and other than the air tight containers of uneaten food, it wasn't that bad. _Thank god for that girl._ She proceeded to clean off the counter tops and put away his laundry from the table. She vacuumed the rug in the living room, twice, and she even made the bed, their bed. The one that hadn't been made or really even slept in 7 weeks, with the exception of that one night she had tried to sleep there and ended up at Antonio's. She finished her stress cleaning with a hot shower and planned to heat up one of those meals Sylvie had left for her in the freezer. She got dressed and padded towards the kitchen. That was when it hit her. A wave of emotion rushed over her all because she had for just a second forgotten. Forgotten he wasn't there. She rounded the corner of the bedroom and expected to see him on the couch watching the Blackhawks or in the kitchen grabbing a beer, and then reality hit. She forgot. But instead of crying, instead of breaking down she burst into uncontrollable laughter that she didn't even try to understand. _How did I get here?_ She laughed. _Almost 15 weeks pregnant, and my husband is in a coma missing it all?_ It was tragic, the whole situation was tragic and she recognized that. She recognized how much it all sucked, but she laughed about it anyway. Why was she incapable of having a family the easy way? Where she didn't lose a baby, or have her foster son's family appear out of nowhere, or have her husband in a coma. She just laughed until it hurt and when she didn't have anything more to laugh out, her laughter turned to sobs. She let them come. She had spent too much time keeping her feelings in, trying to be strong for Matt, and their baby. Strong for Christie and Violet and Nancy. For Kelly and the firehouse. So she let herself have the moment to cry and eventually it stopped. The tears stopped coming and she felt stronger for having survived the breakdown. Gabby pulled herself from the couch, and proceeded to heat up whatever casserole was in the freezer. She ate it at the kitchen table, cleaned up her mess and headed to bed. She pulled down the blankets and crawled into her side. She took Matt's pillows from their place at the top of the bed and pulled into her chest which gave her the illusion of him lying next to her. She breathed in his scent from the pillows and for the first time in a long time she drifted peacefully off to sleep without battling terrible images of the warehouse fire that lead her to sleeping in their bed alone.

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"Ring, Ring, Ring," She reached for the phone panicking as she registered the time. 2 missed calls from the hospital. Gabby dialed back the number as quickly as she could jumping out of bed while the phone rang. "Mrs. Dawson?" asked the nurse on the other line.

"What, What's wrong?" she demanded.

"Your husband has taken a turn for the worse. His heart started to fail, and we had to shock twice him to get him back. His airway has also swelled shut again, likely from infection so we had to intubate him. For now he is stable but this is a major step backwards…"

"He's okay though? He's going to be okay?" she interrupted the nurse. "We are administering high dose of antibiotics, and we are going to do everything we can for him Mrs. Dawson." Gabby hung up the phone and quickly pulled on her jeans. She ran to the car and sped to the hospital. She bursted through the doors and found George, the night guard at the reception desk. Seeing the anguish on her face and the way she rushed into the hospital, George didn't even question her as she walked right past him to the elevator. The ride to the 5th floor was painstakingly slow. When she reached the room she could see the vent. The lights were turned off in his room and a nurse was injecting something or other into his IV. "I'll get out of your way, Mrs. Dawson. He's stable, we just have to tackle this infection." Gabby didn't speak, she just nodded her head at the woman and with her arms crossed took a step closer as the nurse walked out of the room. She ran her hand through his sandy blonde hair that had grown quite long. She ran her hand down his stubbly cheek and felt the warmth of the fever he was undoubtedly running. "You scared me half to death baby," she whispered as she pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. She pulled the chair closer to his bed, took his hand in hers and rested her head on the side of the bed, just like she had done that very first night she spent there with him. She was considerably less nauseous this time she noted.

She did manage to catch another hour of so of what she would consider terrible sleep before the sun came up. Gabby went back and forth about whether or not to cancel her doctor's appointment that afternoon but after careful debate she decided to go, only after a call to Christie who promised to take her place watching over Matt while she left for a few hours.

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She laid anxiously on the table waiting for the results of her ultrasound. She lifted her shirt and unbuttoned her pants to allow access to her abdomen. The wand spread the cool blue gel over her now taught belly that was getting harder to hide under her shirts. "There's your little one right there," the doctor said pointing to the screen. The sound of the heartbeat filled the room and it was as beautiful a sound as the last time Gabby heard it. The baby's head was tilted back and it had a hand near it's face, possibly sucking it's thumb the doctor pointed out. She could see its feet moving and it made her smile to see their baby thriving. "The measurements look perfect and your baby is looking to be very healthy. Do you have any questions Miss Dawson?" Gabby felt compelled to correct the doctor. _Mrs._ she thought. _Mrs. Dawson, because I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world. A man who would be here if he could. And No I'm not a single parent in case you're wondering, and no he isn't working. He would be here if he could._ Her flow of thoughts became defensive. She felt compelled to defend the absence of her husband even though he had a pretty damn good reason not to be standing next to her holding her hand and gushing at the screen with her. He was a hero, her hero and he almost lost his life trying to save innocent lives. But instead of verbally attacking the doctors over a likely innocent mistake like her thoughts did, she simply and politely corrected "Mrs. Dawson" and smiled. "I kept my maiden name because we work together."

"Oh my apologies Mrs. Dawson" the doctor shook it off. "I'll mark that in your chart so we don't make that mistake again. Your husband is a very lucky man." If only the doctor knew that she was in fact the lucky one. She was so grateful to be loved so fiercely and passionately. Through all their ups and downs she never doubted the strength of their love and that he would always be there to pick her up. He lit a fire within her that made her want to be her best self everyday. He didn't love her in spite of her flaws, he loved her for them. He loved her even when she was pushy, insecure, and reckless. Even when she went "all Gabby Dawson" and made a situation worse. And the best part was that she believed in his love for her whole heartedly, because she felt that same love for him. The kind of love that survives even the scariest of fires, and gravest of injuries. The kind of love that withstood 3rd degree burns and a coma. She had the kind of love that brought her the tiny blessing inside her, just when she needed something to be strong for. "Would you mind if I got two copies of the ultrasound photo? One for my husband?" Gabby asked as they finished up the appointment. "Absolutely Mrs. Dawson," she smiled as she walked from the room.

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The drive back to the hospital was interrupted by a panicked phone call from Herman who requested her help down at Molly's. Since the accident Gabby had, by the request of her Molly's partners, neglected many of her responsibilities at the bar. Stella Kidd was able to take over her bartending shifts and between Otis and Herman they were able to figure out the rest, or so he thought. Gabby walked into the bar and was greeted by 10 or so large boxes of alcohol stacked high in the middle of the room. "Dawson? Is that you? Herman called from behind the boxes. "Yeah, What the hell happened?" she asked. "I'm sorry I didn't want to call you down here but I don't know what to do. There are at least 15 more like it in the back." Gabby gave him that look. The slightly confused, slightly judgemental but also slightly endearing look that signaled to Herman he somehow messed up but she already forgave him for it. "I tried to order more of the Three Olives vodkas and a few cases of wine but somehow ended up with all this, I don't know what I did Gabby." he said in defeat. She laughed it off. "Lets just find a home for all this okay? It's not like we won't use it all eventually," she smiled at him. "Thanks Dawson." he responded knowing that she should have been much more upset than than she was. "Small potatoes Herman." And they were. Having your husband in a coma while you're growing a child put things in perspective. Sure the alcohol bill was going to be astronomical this month, but it would be close to nothing next month. Gabby barely paid the mistake any mind and instead got to work helping Herman unpack the 25 boxes in the back.

"How are things Dawson? How are you holding up?" Herrmann asked in his fatherly voice.

"I'm okay," she half lied. "It's hard, I really miss him and the uncertainty of it all can really put me in a bad place some days." She found herself wanting to confide in Herrmann, which was certainly a change from her usual bottled up way of dealing with things. But Herrmann had always been equal parts friend and father to her and for whatever reason his gentle prying and checking in with her was welcomed that day. "I can't imagine Dawson, but if I know one thing it's that Casey is the strongest and one of the most stubborn guys I know. And he's fighting to come back to you." A few tears entered her eyes. _Hormones._ He wrapped her in a big hug. "Thanks Herman." she said blinking back the tears. "He's fighting an infection right now, they called me last night around 2 am and told me they almost lost him. He was doing so well…" she trailed off. "Apparently the antibiotics are working well though. Last I heard the doctors wanted to do one final skin graft after they get the infection under control and then hopefully, they can take him off the barbiturates." She forced a hopeful smile. "And that will wake him up?" he asked. "Well that's the plan. They won't know if there are any long term neurological effects from lack of oxygen but last week he was breathing on his own so that's encouraging. I just really wish he was here for all these doctors appointments…" _Crap. Crap. Did she really just say that?_ "I knew it!" yelled Herman in excitement. "You're pregnant aren't you?" he questioned her excitedly. "You knew it? How?" she wondered. She had tried so hard to keep it a secret. "Dawson I have 5 kids. I know the signs." he laughed pulling her into another big hug. "I was trying to keep it a secret, I wanted to tell Matt first." she looked mildly defeated. "Look Dawson, your secret is safe with me. And Technically you didn't tell me. I guessed. Now get out of here Mama. Go take care of your man." he offered her a huge smile. One that clearly convey how excited he was for her. "Dawson," he called to her as she went to leave. "Your time has come." He made a rather childish motion to zip his lips and throw away the key indicating her secret was safe. It felt good actually. For someone she cared about to be excited with her. Herman was an old pro at keeping the pregnancy secret, she trusted that he could keep her secret for a while this time. Though by her ever growing belly Gabby knew it wouldn't be long before she couldn't conceal the secret much longer.


	8. Chapter 8

"So how does this work?" Inquired Gabby? The doctors had finally given Matt the last of his skin grafts and felt he had made excellent progress. He still had a long and difficult road to healing; weeks more in the hospital, physical therapy, and likely counseling to help him handle the psychological effects of his injuries. But the doctors felt it was now in his best interest to take Matt out of his coma. While this news was thrilling, it was equally terrifying to Gabby. He would still be in a great deal of pain and the neurological effects of the coma, in combination with his oxygen deprivation from the actual fire, were completely unknown. People who suffer severe burns almost always suffer from PTSD and in addition handle bouts of serious depression. The unknowns were paralyzing; would the Matt that came out of the coma be the same Matt she had spent so much of her life loving? How would he react to her pregnancy, especially having missed the entire 1st trimester and much of the second? The thoughts nearly made her crazy. She wanted to know everything that could happen so she could be prepared if and when something happened unexpectedly. "Please tell me everything that could happen, I want to be prepared," she pleaded with Doctor Lawler. He was prepared and willing to answer every question. "So we are going to gently take him off of the barbiturates which are keeping his sedated. Now he is still on a lot of morphine to help control his pain which will likely make him very groggy. It could also delay his consciousness for some time-" Gabby nodded along, trying to absorb every bit of information the doctor gave her. "We also don't know what his mental state will be. He responds well to all the neurological test we have administered, but until he is fully awake we won't know what we are dealing with- he might not remember certain things, he likely won't remember the accident or at least parts of it. It's all a waiting game Mrs. Dawson." The doctor who she had grown to trust reached for her arm and gently squeezed it reassuringly. "We are going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. He has made astounding progress Mrs. Dawson- your husband is a fighter." He smiled and released her arm. The two parted and agreed that they would begin weaning him off the barbiturates the following morning. Gabby returned to Matt's room to say her goodnights and say a few silent prayers for a smooth awakening the following day.

She took her place in her chair by the bed and scooted it closer to him. She took his hand and gently squeezed it, hoping that somehow he would know she was there. She had no big speech planned for him, no words of encouragement, she just held his hand and sat in silence, hoping that her days of sitting silently in that chair would soon be over. She let her eyes fall shut and she could see their family. Holding their child for the first time, going to the park, a stolen kiss in the bunk room at work. She saw them happy and in love and normal. _Normal,_ she thought. She didn't need or want perfect. She just wanted her husband. The father of her child. It was so easy to picture it. Just as easy as it was to see their future happiness, was it for the negative images to come flooding in. The once happy family playing on the swings turned into Matt sitting lost on the couch. His face pale and pained. She could see him waking up and not recognizing her, not being able to speak in sentences. She could see herself at the park, but just her and their child- Matt nowhere to be found. That was not the life she wanted, a life she refused to have. Her child- their child deserved more than that. They all deserved more than that. Their little family had been through so much heartache, she wasn't sure how much more they could withstand. But then she opened her eyes and they fell on the sleeping man in the bed. He looked peaceful and beautiful. He was her Matt. All it took was one look at that beautiful man for the wicked thoughts to fade. Yes they suffered. Yes they got curve ball after curve ball. Yes they lost a child. Two children. And friends. Yes Matt was in a horrific fire and almost died. Yes. Yes. Yes- But he didn't die. And their immense heartache was awful but it did not destroy them. Because they had each other. And no matter how bad tomorrow went, no matter what the future held, they would get through it. All she had to do was look at that beautiful man, her beautiful and loving, strong, complicated, childish, and astonishing man, and she knew they would be okay. All 3 of them.

It was getting late, and Gabby thought it best to head home for a good night's sleep. The next days were likely to be grueling and sleepless. She stood from her chair, and laid a kiss on his forehead. She let it linger and she breathed in his familiar scent. "I love you Matthew Casey- We'll see you tomorrow." She gave him one last gentle kiss before running a hand threw his now very long hair before leaving for the night.

On her way out of the hospital Gabby called Christie and Nancy separately, letting them both know that they planned to wean Matt off the barbiturates the following morning. As much as she dreaded spending the day between the mother and daughter, they were her family now and she owed it to them to keep them informed. Next she called Severide and asked him to alert the troops, which he gladly abided by. Before she pulled into the driveway at their apartment she had already gotten phone calls from both Herman and Kidd wanting more details and sending their well wishes. She was overwhelmed; It felt like the day he had been injured. She knew everyone meant well but she was feeling suffocated by their love and kindness.

Gabby turned the key letting herself into the apartment. She dropped her bag on the kitchen chair and planned to take one of those mind-clearing showers she was becoming so fond of. She turned the water on and was nearly undressed when she heard a knock at the door. She was greeted with a energetic smile that she was not quite prepared to deal with. "Hi, I brought wine," she said holding up the brown paper bag. "I figured that tonight was gonna be a rough night for you, so I figured that I'd stop by and keep you company." Gabby was truly flattered by the thoughtfulness of her friend but what she really wanted was that hot shower and a good book, or a movie, silence- anything but entertaining Sylvie Brett. "Is this one of those times where you're not really asking to come in and I don't have a choice?" she asked in a sarcastic tone. Sylvie just nodded her head with an even bigger smile. Gabby stepped out of the way of the door and let out a deep breath "Come on in then." Sylvie sauntered over to the kitchen a took out two wine glasses from the cupboard. She opened the bottle of chardonnay and poured a generous glass for the each of them. She handed Gabby the glass and the sudden realization that she could not drink the wine came over her. "Brett do you mind, I was going to jump in the shower real quick when you knocked-"

"By all means, I'll just turn the game on, don't mind me."

"Great. Remote's on the coffee table," smiled Gabby. She picked up the wine glass swirling the light colored liquid and smelling it. "Umm," she breathed. "I needed this, thanks…" and then in a sudden burst of brilliance she commented, "I'm gonna take this with me." She let out a totally fake breathy laugh which Sylvie responded to with a "you go girl." Gabby walked from the room with the glass and into the master bathroom. She poured 3 quarters of the liquid down the sink and smiled at herself in the mirror for the brilliant plan. She untied her burgundy bathrobe she had slipped on and hung it on the door hook. She ran her hand down and over her stomach, "You're mama's just got to keep you a secret for a little longer- just until we can tell your daddy." _Daddy._ She smiled at the thought and stepped into the hot water, that would now not last long enough.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She was staring at the ceiling fan, and proceeded to look over at the clock, again. _Only 6:04._ It had only been 16 minutes since she last looked at the clock. The morning came with little sleep and moved at a terribly slow pace. Tired of lying in bead waiting for time to pass Gabby got out of bed and got dressed. She wanted something comfortable but also wanted to look decent. Her husband hadn't laid eyes on her in 9 weeks, she wanted to look like she at least tried. She went through at least 10 shirts and 4 pairs of pants and could not settle on an outfit. Many of her pants were too tight at this point and many of her shirts emphasized her ever growing bump. Finally in frustration she settled on a pair of black leggings and Matt's Truck sweatshirt. In reality she could wear a paper bag and unmatching socks and he'd think she was beautiful, but she was upset and feeling fat. She just wanted to feel beautiful. So deciding to alter the plan, from "tried to look nice" to "effortless pretty." She put on some makeup to compensate for the poor choice in outfit and she looked good. A little tired, okay exhausted, but better than she had looked most days sitting next to him at the hospital. Around 6:40 she finally crept from her room, careful to make little noise as she past the guest room where Brett had stayed the night. She really appreciated her friend, especially because she had been right. It was a difficult night and while the pair hadn't talked about anything significant, her presence was helpful in keeping dark thought out of her mind.

Gabby grabbed her purse from the kitchen chair and took a sticky note out of the junk drawer. She wrote a note to Brett. _Went for coffee, see you at the hospital later. Thanks for last night. -Dawson._ Gabby left the note with a spare house key for Brett to lock up with. While she would settle on a decaf coffee she was also headed for dream pancakes from Over Easy. Something about the morning drew her to the small cafe she had spent so many glorious mornings with Matt in. She hadn't been there since before the accident, but it just felt right. She walked into the small cafe and took her place at their small booth by the window. The waiter came over to the table and after recognizing her asked "are you waiting on one more?" She smiled up at the girl and simply replied, "just me today honey, I'll take a decaf coffee and an order of dream pancakes please." Happy to have her appetite back Gabby tossed back the pancakes and coffee. Unlike the beginning of their journey with Matt's burns, now she was able to wash down her feelings with food instead of avoiding it at all costs. _Hormones._ She left the girl a very generous tip, for the sake of having good karma on her side for the day. Hopefully the next time she was back he would be with her.

The drive from Over Easy to Chicago University Hospital was short but plenty of time to relish in the intimidating possibilities of the day ahead. It was 8am when she walked into his room. The lights were still dim and and he still looked peaceful. Gabby knew that this may be the last time she ever saw him peaceful, especially because he was going to be in immense pain for the foreseeable future. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, ran a hand through his dusty blond hair, and down his stubbly cheek and she whispered to him. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I am so proud of you for fighting like hell." She took her seat next to the bed, his hand in hers and waited for Dr. Lawler to begin their terrifying and exciting day.

It wasn't more than 5 minutes since she took her seat when she heard Nancy and Christie bickering down the hall. She braced herself for the impact of them rounding the corner. To her surprise the bickering ended as soon as they walked through the door, likely a silent agreement to make the day go as smoothly as possible for everyone, especially Matt. "Gabby," said Nancy as she walked in the room. She hugged her daughter-in-law and it still felt weird to Gabby considering they still had no real relationship. "And how's the baby?" she questioned as she placed her uninvited hand on Gabby's hidden belly. "Baby?" Dr. Lawler said as he walked in the room. "You're pregnant?" asked Christie, totally surprised. "Oops," said Nancy making eye contact with Gabby. Gabby just awkwardly smiled, though internally she was crushed that her secret was out to even more people before Matt knew. "I was waiting to tell Matt first. Your mom figured it out months ago." Christie made her way across the room and took Gabby in her arms. "Congratulations Sweetie, you two are going to be amazing parents." Dr. Lawler said nothing else, he was busying himself with the various tubes and bandages surrounding Casey. One of the machines sent out a sharp _beep_ , redirecting all baby talk to the doctor.

"He looks great, I'm just going to take him off the barbiturates and after that it is a waiting game. I believe we covered all the other possibilities yesterday. If anything changes or he regains consciousness, call for a nurse. I'll be in and out over the next few hours." He turned to leave the room, but not before placing a hand on Gabbys arm offering her "Congratulations," and a smile.

The next hours were awful, in the sense that they were uneventful. After no change and the bickering between Christie and Nancy had reached it's max, Gabby decided to head down to the cafeteria for a snack and a hot tea. She rounded the corner to walk past the waiting room and she was amazed by what she saw. All of shift 3 in their turnout gear with balloons, flowers, and stuffed animals. Cindy, and Donna, and little Terrance, several alderman, several of the guys from 1st and 2nd shift all seated in the small waiting area. She shouldn't have been surprised. They were so fortunate to have such an incredible family. Her eyes filled with tears at their gesture, she even appreciated them keeping their distance rather than bombarding them in the hospital room. "You guys- are…"

"Anything for family," interjected Boden. "How is he?"

"No change yet, but we are optimistic." Her forced smile came easier than before. Something about having 30 people in a waiting room who had her back helped with that. After what felt like 100 hugs and finally getting her tea and a bagel Gabby made it back to the room. Nothing had changed, so she just waited. Somewhere in the middle of another argument between the mother and daughter she felt it. His hand moved. Just a simple finger twitch, than another. _He is in there._ She thought. "Matt?" she called to him softly. "Matt?" she said again rising from her chair. She squeezed his hand and his head moved ever so slightly. He winced his eyes and let out the smallest whimper. She ran a hand down his stubbly cheek, "Matt?" The whimper came again. _He's in pain._ Nancy finally noticing that something had happened stood from her chair and walked to the other side of the bed. "I'll go get a nurse," offered Christie fleeing the room. "Matthew, It's mom," Nancy called to him. Frankly Nancy's presence now angered Gabby. Matt being in a coma had in no way altered her life. She lived everyday for the last 25 years without him, but today she felt the need to be in the room trying to get Matt to respond to her? Gabby realized how irrational her thoughts were, but she couldn't help them. She knew Nancy loved her children and had suffered greatly since ruining their relationships. The rational part of her quickly pushed the thoughts from her mind when Matt gently squeezed Gabby's hand. "That's right baby, I'm right here- Matt? I know it hurts baby, I know." The small cry came again, shattering her heart, but with the small cry came an almost inaudible small whisper. "Gab-" He never called her that, but she knew the attempt at speaking was meant for her. Her heart simultaneously broke and mended at the word. But just as soon as the word had come, it had gone. He stopped crying out and he stopped moving. He was gone again.

The nurse and Christie came into the room. "He was awake," she quickly said. "He was crying out, and he said my name and then he was gone again." Gabby was searching for answers in the nurse's eyes. "He's in pain," she added.

"Well the first thing I can say is this is all normal." It could be a few more hours and a few more bats of short consciousness before he is fully awake. But I assure you this is all good news- Now we can give him more morphine to take the edge off the pain, but that will likely delay his consciousness further. It's up to you." She looked at Gabby. That was an impossible decision to make. She wanted him so desperately. She wanted to kiss him and have that kiss returned. But he was in pain. So she opted to delay that kiss and push the morphine.

Delay it did. He woke up several times over the next 5 hours. Each time calling for her. "Gabby." he'd say, but just as soon as he could utter the word he was gone again. It warmed her that even after the accident and 9 weeks of sleep, she was on his mind. Just like he was always on hers. She gave several updates to the crowd of people that waited. Cindy and Donna had left to be with their kids as well as several of the alderman who had families at home. A few of them had been in and out of the room to check up in the 3 women, taking coffee and dinner orders. Around 7 pm, the women had just finished up dinner and Nancy and Christie decided to really hash it out. There was a reason the two of them never rekindled their relationship after Nancy was released from prison. Christie had finally snapped at her mother's attempts to talk about their animosity. And that's when it happened. Of course that's when it happened. "Shut up," he mumbled. "Stop the fighting you're driving me insane." And it stopped. Heads flipped to the man lying in the bed, his eyes squinted open searching the room. "Gabby?" was the next word from his mouth. She was quickly standing next to him at that moment. "Matt!" She cried to him. "Matt?"

"What happened? Where am I?"


	9. Chapter 9

"I remember we were fighting in my office about your dad, and I was being a total jerk-" She squeezed his hand, devastated that one of his last memories was of them fighting. And over something so stupid; at least it felt stupid now. So much of their marriage, and their many years together was blissful, and so loved filled that It cast out the darkness of their many tragedies. "I remember going to the warehouse-" he cast his eyes away from her. " I was stuck," he struggled to remember. "I thought I was going to die-" She saw the fear on his face, and reached to gently turned his head back towards her. "I am so glad you didn't," she whispered placing a gentle kiss to his lips. Tears filled her eyes, and they were reciprocated by him. He saw the pain of his absence in them, he saw the pain of being alone, not knowing if she would ever get him back. "I'm-we're going to go get coffee, and let everyone know he's awake," Nancy interrupted, reaching for Christie's arm indicating they were going to give the couple a few minutes alone. Nancy traced her hand down Matts cheek and smiled down at her son. "Thanks mom," he smiled in return, thankful for the time alone.

When they finally had the room to themselves, Gabby let a few tears escape her, against her will. She placed her forehead against his and placed another kiss to his lips, which he gladly reciprocated. "How bad is the pain?" She asked praying that it was manageable. "I'm okay Gabby," but he winced as he reached to tuck the stray hair behind her ear. She looked at him pleading for the truth in his eyes. "I'm okay Gabby, I'll be okay." She didn't fight him, partly because she was exhausted, and partly because she wasn't sure she wanted the real answer. "Just press the button baby," she offered, running a hand through his long locks. "Woman, I have been asleep for what seems like years, I want to talk to you and you're trying to sne dme back to bed?" he tried to lighten the mood, "The morphine makes me sleepy."

"Okay," she smiled, still playing with his hair. "Your hair's really long babe," She laughed reciprocating his playfulness "I don't hate it."

Are air between them was almost awkward. She didn't know what to say to him, and he didn't quite know how to take her apparent anxiety away. She wanted to tell him how much she had missed him, and that if he ever died she would kill him. She never wanted to live a life without Matt Casey, but she didn't think telling him that would help anything. She didn't want him to feel guilty for almost dying, it's not like he was trying to die. The thoughts felt childish, especially because what he went through was definitely harder than what she did-right? And then there was the whole baby thing. She wanted to tell him. For months she had been wishing to tell him but now she was nervous, panicked even. _Hormones._ She always blamed it on the hormones, even though losing her nerve to tell her husband that she was expecting their child, likely had nothing to do with the hormones and everything to do with being human; a human whose husband had been through the ringer.

She felt his hand bringing her face back to his gaze. She hadn't even realized she her attention had been lost out the window of the small room. "Where did you go?" his soft eyes searching hers. He knew she was holding back, he could only imagine how hard their  
time apart had been on her; if roles were reversed he was not sure he could  
survive that kind of uncertainty. "Nowhere," she lied. But as she watched his eyes  
softened further, she knew he knew she was lying. The panic in her grew. "I, It's just-"

"Lieutenant!" yelled Herman.

"Damn, Casey you look homeless" called Severide following him into the room. "Dude you need a haircut and a shave." He added. Gabby had never been so thankful for the intrusion. More time to gather her thoughts about how to tell Matt everything she was feeling. Their visit was short, but the men told the couple that everyone else was waiting to see for themselves that he was awake and well. The mood in the room changed when Casey diverted the conversation to something more serious. His wanted to thank Kelly for dragging his ass out of that wreck of a fire. Herman took that as his cue to leave, and Gabby took that as an opportunity, to seek advice from her friend. They took no more than 3 steps down the hall before Herman stopped her and pulled her into the hug he knew she needed. Her tears instantly fell, a complicated mix of joy and fright. "Dawson?"

"I don't know what to say to him, Herman. He wants to know what is going through my head but to be honest, I don't even know. I want to tell him how scared I was, how I can't live without him. But what I went thought doesn't compare. And the baby… I have been so excited to tell him. It has been killing me to wait this long, but I'm freaking out."

"Dawson," he cut her off. "Tell him exactly what you just told me. He loves you, and yes he what he went through was terrible, but what you went through, what you are going through is also terrible. He will understand. Be honest with him." she nodded at him in agreement. "And for god's sake, tell that man about that baby. He will be over the moon. It's probably exactly what he needs right now." she let out a breathy laugh. She knew Herrmann was exactly who she needed a pep talk from. The role he played in her life, somewhere between father and brother, was priceless. She knew he was right. She needed to tell him everything. And she wanted to. She wanted to. "Thanks Herman."

Gabby took a few laps around the burn unit before heading back to Matt's room. It's amazing, a place which once was foreign and terrifying felt so familiar now. She rounded the corner into the room and saw Otis and Cruz sitting in the rooms to chairs. Matt noticed her in the doorway immediately and sent her a pleading glance. "Alright boys, playtime is over. I think Matt needs his rest." As if they would ever try to argue with the mama bear that was Gabby Dawson. The boys promptly stood up shaking their heads and each gave Dawson a hug on the way out.

"You disappeared," he said questioningly reaching his hand out to her. He pulled her to the side of the bed where she took a seat facing him. He tucked the fallen curl behind her ear and smiled up at her warmly. "I'm sorry," he said. Confused by his words Gabby raised an eyebrow to him. "Sorry for what?"

"For going to bed angry. For not coming home, and for putting you through hell." he reached for her face with his good arm. "Matt-" she started. "You were doing your job, I'm not mad at you. And that stuff about my dad seems so long ago, it hasn't even crossed my mind." She offered a comforting smile to him. "This whole thing has just made me realize how much I love you, and how much I can't be without you." he squeezed her hand tightly. "You need to promise me that we, that our family, is going to live happily ever after, okay? We are both going to live for a very long time, because Matt, I can not lose you." Her tears fell again, which he wiped away with his free hand. _Hormones._ But she wasn't ready to tell him that.

"You must have been so scared baby. I am going to get better, as fast as I can and-" he didn't know what to say. He just loved her so much, and wanted to take the pain of the last months away. He could see the sheer exhaustion in her eyes. "I love you Gabby," he said pulling her lips to his. The tears coming to his own eyes again. He hated seeing the pain in her face, especially because she was trying to hide it. "I love you too," she smiled. She felt better, that there was an understanding about how she had suffered. Even if they did not go into detail about the matter, she knew he understood and that was enough for her. But there was still one more thing, and he saw it in her eyes, she knew he did. "Matt, I-" She started, but was immediately cut off by Nancy walking in the room with Christie in tow. The constant interruptions seemed to be a common occurrence of the day.

"Finally everyone is gone and I can have my baby back," she cooed to her son. "Hi, mom."; he said underentheused. "Are you in much pain dear?" she asked.

"Ah, it's not so bad. Everything really stings and is really tight, but I'll be okay." The truth was, he was in a great deal of pain. Every breath he took felt like the fire that had burned him. "Would you like me to get the doctor honey?" she asked him. "Um no that's okay mom." he forced a smile in her direction. "So have you two been killing each other?" he half joked.

"Don't be silly Matthew, we are adults." she shot back at his sly question. But he caught the look both Gabby and Christie made, which indicated otherwise.

Christine sent a smize across the room and decided to change the subject. "Well anyway I'm sure you have heard the good news-" Gabby's heart sank. She shot Nancy a look of horror and rapidly nodded her head from side to side, hoping she would get the hint and not ruin her surprise. She'd kill her.

"What good news?" He questioned clearly, confused. Gabby felt instantly nauseous. "My divorce was finalized." Christie cut in, saving the day, and her mother's life. Gabby shot Christie a thankful nod glance, and proceeded to shoot daggers towards Nancy. "Oh, well that's great Chirs. How is Violet?"

The room filled with small talk between the family, and Gabby was growing impatient. She stood from her chair and declared she was going for some dinner in the cafeteria. She figured it would be best if when she did leave him, someone was there to take care of him. At least that's how she convinced herself she wasn't annoyed by Nancy and Christie overstaying their welcome, and about to wash it down with a burger to cope. She decided on grilled chicken and vegetables and a ginger tea instead but purchased the food with full intentions of eating her feelings.

She sat in the same corner booth she had sat in for months and picked at the food in the styrofoam container. She only ate about half of it before growing tired of the now lukewarm food. She headed back up to the room, remembering that the last time she had disappeared, Matt had certainly noticed, and she'd left him there to fend for himself among his sister and mother. She knew after her many recent experiences how excruciating that could be. When she rounded the corner back into the room she was shocked to see that both women were gone and he was resting, his eyes closed. She just stood there in the door watching. She had watched him sleep peacefully for weeks, but somehow she could tell it was different, she could tell he was there. She could see the pain in the way he ever so slightly squinted his eyes. He was there, and the excruciating time the two of them spent apart was over. She felt confidant that they could get through the rest of his recovery. She also felt more confidant that she could get through telling him of the pregnancy.

He felt her presence in the room, so he fought the grogginess and forced his eyes back open. "Hey there beautiful," he said to get her attention. "Hey yourself handsome…" she responded. "You don't have to wake up on account of me."

"But I want to wake up on account of you," He reached out his hand in search of hers. Though he was sure the time had passed much slower for Gabby, he missed her and felt safer and less pained in her presence. "Where did your family go?" she asked. Hoping they weren't coming back. "I sent them home. Told them I was tired and wanted to spend some alone time with my gorgeous wife."

"So I have you all to myself?" prompting him to nod in response. "Mr. Casey-" she laughed almost seductively placing a soft kiss to his lips, and taking her place facing him on the small bed. "I missed you so much," she whispered against his lips. A tear escaping as she deepened the kiss. Even though they had shared several kisses throughout the day, it had been too long since she felt his lips move against her in that way, she never wanted to let go of that feeling again. He reached up to her cheek and brushed her single tear away. She looked deep into his eyes and saw nothing but love in them. She was suddenly overcome with giddy nervousness where the panic had been before. The whole time he had been in the coma, she dreamed of the day she would get to tell him that he would soon be a father. But now she just couldn't get the words out. He noticed her demeanor change and he searched her eyes for a clue, any clue as to where her mind went. "Where did you go again, Gabby?" he inquired. He found his hand once again on her cheek helping him again to hold her gaze. She diverted the gaze by turning her head into his hand and placing a soft kiss to his palm. "Talk to me baby," he tried again. "I have something I need to tell you…" She trailed off. "Gabby I have been in a coma for 9 weeks, I hope you have lots of things to tell me." He made a bad attempt at a lousy joke that had apparently worked a little, as it brought a faint smile and a flush of color to Gabby's face. "So the day of the accident I had a feeling… well I planned to go home that night and...but then you got hurt so… I…"

"Gabby," he grabbed her hand, "Just tell me what ever it is."

She gathered herself and began to speak again. "I. um. I'm Pregnant." she winced as the words came out of her mouth but when she opened her eyes again she found a look of utter shock on Matt's face. She couldn't decipher his expression, and there was no sign of how he was feeling about the bomb she just dropped on him. When he finally found words, after what felt like hours, it was Gabby who was utterly shocked. "I thought it was a dream," he said.

"What?" she asked legitimately confused as to what he meant. "I heard you talking to me. Not all the time but, but some of the time, I thought It was all a dream..." he tried to wrap his head around it. "Gabby you're…" he couldn't finish the sentence as tears of joy and disbelief sprung to his eyes, an uncontrollable smile beaming from his face. She couldn't believe it either. He had heard her.

"It is a dream Matt. Our dream." She kissed him deeply on his lips and this time it was she who brushed his tears away. "It's happening for real this time I can feel it." Her smile was like none he had ever seen. Relief, joy, excitement, and love displayed on her warm face.

"I actually can't believe it Gabby." He continued to try and wrap his head around the situation, but the magnitude of it was impossible to fathom. "That whole time I held on to the hope Gabby. I fought to stay alive so that I could come back to you, so I could give you the family we both want. I thought it was a dream, and now it's really happening?"

"It's really happening!" In those moments she fell deeper in love with Matt Casey. The man who stayed alive for her and their future. The man who cried tears of joy upon learning that the dream that kept him alive was going to be their reality. "When? When are you due? I mean how far along are you?" he asked beaming. "November. I was 8 weeks when I found out. So I'm about 17 weeks now."

"17 weeks?" he asked, a touch of sadness and shock in his voice. "I miss so much already."

"You're here now Baby, that's all that matters." She took his hand and guided it towards her belly. She stood facing him at his bed side so his fingers could reach her more easily from his position. He smiled upon feeling the belly that lay beneath the large navy blue Truck sweatshirt, his sweatshirt, she wore. "May I?" He asked, his fingers asking for permission to unzip the sweatshirt. "Of course," she replied. Please." In actuality she wanted to feel his hands all over her. It had been so long since she had and she had spent those 9 weeks just wishing he could feel her growing form. She helped him unzip the sweatshirt and gently lift the shirt she wore underneath. His eyes fell on her still pretty small but noticeably round belly. "There's a baby in there," he gushed with a childish joy and with tears in his eyes. His hand came to her, his fingers traced the taught skin as his silent tears fell. His warm hand on her belly had tears springing in her own eyes again. She felt whole. She felt sure that her baby would grow up with a father, the best father. They were so incredibly lucky to love and be loved by Matthew Casey. He slowly moved himself to the left edge of the bed and pulled her into the nook of his good arm, her belly still poking out from under the shirt. His arm was just long enough to reach the top side of the belly where he gently traced his fingers. Gabby took out an envelope and several photos from her back pocket and handed them to Matt. The photos were his copies of their baby she had received during her doctor's appointments. He slowly looked at the images, in disbelief. When he reached the sealed envelope he looked at her questioningly. "It's the gender of the baby." The doctor wanted to tell me, but I didn't want to do it without you. So if you want to know-" he was ripping the envelope open before she could even finish the sentence. He pulled the small piece of paper from inside careful to shield it from Gabby. He smiled and the tears returned to his eyes. "I hope she looks just like you."

"She? Really?" He nodded his head and kissed her through their smiles. "You're going to be a Mommy." he said to her, amazed by the woman now laying in his arms. "And you're going to be an amazing Dad, Matt. I can't wait.


End file.
